Sign of the Cross

Sawyer: "Father, son, holy spearmint."

Thanksgiving

Things I never thought I would hear on Thanksgiving:

Lizzy to Kerpatrick while carving the turkey: "Daddy, where's the turkey's butt?"
Kerpatrick: "Uh.......The workers don't put that in there....."
Lizzy: "Then, where's the turkey's penis?"

Cricket. Cricket. Cricket.

Let's Just Talk

The other night I had a parent/teacher conference with Sawyer's preschool teacher. She talked to me about how they had tested the kids on their colors, numbers, letters, etc. Sawyer had done very well in all areas except for identifying his alphabet.

He knows how to say his alphabet, but when you point to a letter, he can't tell you which one it is. He just guesses.

Anyhoo, the teacher sat across from Sawyer to test him on his letters. She would point to a letter and he would say the wrong answer. After this happened a couple of times, Sawyer paused, looked at his teacher and said, "......can we just talk?"

"Look outside....See that tree?...Trees have leaves and trees also sometimes have animals...The leaves fall off the trees....my dad cut our tree out front....."

Needless to say, I think he'll make a great politician someday.

Bugs

To preface this story......Kerpatrick and I do not allow the kids to eat anywhere in the house except the kitchen and thedining area. We also stress the importance of using a plate to eat over, etc. We tried to explain the concept of crumbs attracting bugs...blah, blah, blah....

So, tonight I was in the kitchen making dinner when Lizzy came up from the playroom with a bunch of stuff. She had "made" me some food (with her play food)....a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich to be exact.

It was really cute. She sat in the middle of the kitchen setting a place for me with the food. Of course, she was right in my path of going back and forth from the stove to the counter to the fridge to the counter and so on.

I politely thanked Lizzy for the "meal" and asked her if she could return her "food" to the playroom. She replied, "Why?" as I was looking at the toys in the middle of the floor thinking that I was bound for an accident. I, replied to her, "Why do you think mommy wants you to move it?"

She stood there for a while, looked inquisitively at me, and said, ".....because of bugs?"

FYI

We were watching a movie the other day where the characters used the term, "FYI." Maddy looked at me and asked what it meant. I explained it to her and now she has used the term non-stop. She uses it correctly and has incorporated the term into her everyday language.

For example, last night I went to tuck her in to bed and she whispered to me, "FYI, mommy....your breath smells like cucumbers."

All I want for Christmas

Every day Lizzy asks me for a new booster seat for the car. She wants a "big" girl car seat. I keep putting it off because her car seat is just fine, super cute, and can function as a booster as well. She, of course, wants one with the back off like her big sister.

This morning she asked me for one again. I just did my usual, "Okay...one day...."

She sat there for a minute and then said, "I got it!!! I will ask Santa for a new booster seat for Christmas! That way, you won't have to spend any of your money!"

Errand Girl

Our house is set up such that the computer is upstairs in the kitchen and the printer is downstairs in Kerpatrick's office. Everything is on a wireless system, so, we can still print from the kitchen; however, you have to keep walking downstairs to get your printouts.

Lizzy, however, loves to run down and get mama's printouts for her. The other day I must have sent her downstairs three times within a 30 minute period.

When she came back up the last time, I said, "Lizzy, what would mama do without you?"

She looked at me and said, "Um.....you would use Sawyer?!?!?!?!?"

Haircut

I have been begging Sawyer to get his hair cut for the last month. He has been fighting me tooth and nail. It doesn't look horrible, but it is long. Because it looks "okay," I haven't dragged him there kicking and screaming.

I made the mistake the other day of letting him know how lovely his thick hair was. I actually said, "Sawyer, your hair is so nice. It's so thick and curly."

His response? "See! That's why you should not cut it!!!"

Doctor in the Making

Sawyer just came up the stairs from the playroom crying. When I knelt down to hug him and ask him what was wrong he said, "I hit mmmmyself with the, the, the otoscope. Wahhhhh."

I was so shocked that he said "otoscope" that I had to check it out. I went downstairs to see what he was talking about. He was in fact using the correct terminology. I didn't even know he knew what an otoscope was, but he was totally right!

Halloween

Maddy: Next year for Halloween, I want a light saber.

Lizzy: What's a light saber?

Sawyer: Lizzy, it's a mint!

Quite a Party

Sawyer has this toy that is like an extended arm. It's about 2 or 3ft long and we call it, "The Grabber." Yesterday I had to use "the grabber" to pull Sawyer's underwear out of the chandelier in the foyer.

When I told Kerpatrick about my day's events, he replied, "Sounds like quite a party."

The Flinstones

The other night Kerpatrick and I were invited to a Halloween party. I was Wilma and he was Fred Flinstone.

Tonight I was talking to Maddy trying to get her ready for school tomorrow. She has a Halloween party and the instructions were that each child should dress as a character from a book and bring that book in.

I suggested Maddy be Dorothy and take in The Wizard of Oz book. She replied that she wanted to wear my Wilma costume. I politely told her that she couldn't wear it. Maddy then said, "Why not? It's a character." I said, "Yes, you are correct, but it's not a character from a book."

Maddy then said, "Oh, yeah.....she's just a character from a cereal box."

Speak Up

We were having a nice drive home from church yesterday morning when Maddy started her philosophical monologue. She started asking us difficult questions about God. Maddy stated how she prayed to God and talked to God, but she couldn't hear him talking to her.

Kerpatrick attempted to answer her questions when Sawyer interrupted to say, "Maybe God needs a microphone....."

Magnetism

Maddy came down after her shower the other night and asked if she could watch tv. I said that she could; however, she needed to clean up the mess she had made earlier.

Surprisingly, Maddy did so without any complaining. She was doing such a great job of cleaning that I said to her, "I guess you can turn on the tv while you are picking up the last couple of things because you are doing such a nice job!"

She turned to me and said, "Wellllllllll, I better not. Um.....I'm sort of magnetic when it comes to the tv. I am definitely more magnetic to the tv than cleaning so I better just finish and then I can turn it on."

Sushi Sawyer

The other day I took Sawyer with me to get Sushi take-out. I had made him a lunch, but he insisted on wanting my Sushi. I politely endulged him, but did not have plans to share my delicious lunch. I ordered the California Roll and the Crunch Roll, which was delicious. There wasn't a single Asian in this sushi place, but the food was still fabulous.

When we got home, I broke out my lunch and Sawyer persistently insisted that he wanted some. I gave him a little bit of my California Roll and he almost took off my finger. He kept asking for more. 5 rolls and a Japanese salad later my meal had been devoured by a three year old. What three year old eats sushi????

When the girls came home from school, I told Sawyer to tell the girls what he had for lunch. He smiled and said proudly, "I had origami.....origami fish!"

Break vs. Brake

Yesterday was a beautiful day in Missouri. Lizzy and I took advantage of the weather by sitting on the deck at the apartment reading books. I must have read her about 12 books when I told Lizzy that mommy needed a break.

She continued to jump on me, unawaringly kick my chair, etc. I then asked Lizzy if she knew what a break was. She answered me with a know-it-all attitude and said, "Yes...It's on a bicycle!"

Scram

Tonight I read a book to Lizzy and Sawyer before they went to bed. Sawyer picked out a Sesame Street book. While I was reading to them, Sawyer asks me, "What does 'scram' mean?"

I explained that Oscar the Grouch was just trying to let Elmo know that he needed some space and quiet time.

Later, Lizzy was on the toilet and I walked into the bathroom. She politely asked, "Mom, can you scram?"

Wicked Stepmom

The other day Sawyer asked me if he could have a piece of chewing gum. Of course, I told him "No." His reaction to that?

He told me I was not his mom and I was a mean, mean lady. Lizzy chimed in, "Yeah, she is our stepmom."

For the rest of the day, the kids introduced me as their stepmom everywhere we went.

Sawyer's Box of Crayons

We have been working with Sawyer for a while helping him identify his colors. Nothing makes us happier than when he gets his colors correct.

Yesterday my son comes in and says to me, "Mama, I know my colors. Want to see?"

I was a little preoccupied, so, I had my head down when he started going through his colors. "This is orange. This is green. This is yellow..."

When I looked up to see if he had gotten the colors correct, I realized that he had gotten all my various Tampax tampon sizes and was using them to demonstrate his knowledge of colors.

He had gotten all of his colors right though!

Camel Love

We took the kids to the Kansas City Zoo on Saturday. It was great. There was a train, a tram, a boat ride, paddle boat rides, a carousel, and camel rides. There was actually another exhibit away from the camel rides where there were more camels. As we were approaching the camels, we could hear moaning and groaning. When we came around the corner, we could see the camels were in a comprising position.

Kerpatrick was pushing one stroller and I had the double stroller. Kerpatrick exclaimed, "Oh, God!" and took off in a full sprint.

The kids were asking, "Mommy, what are the camels doing?" I replied, "Ask, daddy." Kerpatrick shouted from ahead, "No, thank you!!!" All the people around us started laughing.

When I finally caught up to Kerpatrick, I jokingly asked, "Hey, KP! Did you see those camels' "hump"?"

His reply? "That's one for the blog!"

PIMP

So, I was just texting one of BFFs and made up my own texting acronym....PIMP. It stands for Peed In My Pants. Kerpatrick thought it was blog worthy.

Fireworks

On July 4, 2010 we were still in the hotel. The kids had played in the hotel pool while watching fireworks out of the long glass windows. Our room had two beds. Kerpatrick slept in the bed with Lizzy while I slept in between Sawyer and Maddy in the other bed. We turned off the lights around 930pm and all was quiet until Lizzy tooted. It was pretty loud which made me gasp and then chuckle.

Sawyer immediately responded and said, "It's okay! It's just fireworks....right, daddy?"

I was in hysterics which made my son repeatedly say to me, "Stop laughing, mommy. Go to sleep." "Stop shaking the bed, mommy. Shhhhh. Go to sleep."

Road Trip

Here are the highlights of our trip to Kansas City:

Night One: The van handled the mountains of WV with ease, but the Civic was having trouble keeping up. We did make it to Charleston, West Virginia. Called three hotels to get a room, but all were booked (Senator Byrd had his funeral/memorial service that day). Finally got a room with Marriott Residence Inn for $159 a night! Mommy slept in between Lizzy and Sawyer....the breastroker and freestyler while daddy slept with Maddy on the sleeper couch.

Night Two: Made it to Mt. Vernon, Illinois. We drove through Kentucky (where lots of people told us that our kids were "real purty"), through Indiana, and finally through Illinois. Mommy slept with Sawyer while daddy slept in between both girls.

Night Three: Made it to Kansas City! Drove from Mt. Vernon to St. Louis to Kansas City. Stopped off at Double J's BBQ. There were dead animals' heads all over the walls. I refused to sit in a booth because I did not want to be eating underneath this huge deer head. We sat in the middle of the room instead. Night three was July 4th. We actually let the kids play in the hotel pool and you could see the fireworks through the pool windows. It was crystal clear. Very beautiful. Mommy slept with Sawyer and Maddy. Daddy slept with Lizzy.

Like Mother (or Father)...Like Daughter

We were driving in the car today and I looked back to find that Maddy's hands were in this akward position.

I inquired, "Maddy, what are you doin' just sittin' there with your hands like that?"

Maddy looked down, looked up, and responded, "I'm gettin' ready to ride a horse." It was really quick witted and quite hilarious since that's exactly what she looked like.

I then said in a questioning manner, "Seriously, Maddy, how did you get to be so funny?" She then shrugs her shoulders and says to me, "You're blamin' me for that?????"

Sawyer Trump

Yesterday Sawyer wanted to me to give him his pacifier. I was busy so I told him that he would have to get it on his own if he wanted it right then.

He immediately ran to his sisters and started bugging them to get his pacifier for him. Maddy replied, "You remember what the doctor said? The doctor said that you are responsible for your pacifier. Only you can get it."

Sawyer then turned to Lizzy to see if she would help and she also declined.

There was this big pause and then I heard from the other room, "You're fired! Both of you. You're both fired!!!!!"

New Adventures

I have been trying to get the kids excited about our long three day trip to Kansas City. Today I said, "You guys, we get to go on an adventure!!!!"

Maddy excitedly replied, "An adventure?!?!? What kind of adventure?"

In the most animated voice I said, "We are going to be driving across our great nation for three days. We will be staying in hotels - with pools! We will get to Kansas City and live in a hotel for a week!!!"

Maddy made this very unconvinced face and then said, "That's not an adventure." I replied, "Sure it is!" She then corrected me saying, "No. An adventure is going through the jungles of South Africa.....climbing to the top of Mt. Everest. Seeing the Man in the Mountain (New Hampshire). Those are adventures."

I quickly resigned realizing that my six year old was smarter than me and said, "Okay, then, you ready for our trip?"

Old Hair

For my birthday, my dear friend, Jessica not only paid for me to get my hair colored, cut, and styled, but she also babysat all three of my children. It was the most lavish gift anyone has ever given me and it was, by far, the best present ever.

My stylist told me to not wash my hair for several days so that 1) I could take advantage of my newly styled hair and 2) I wouldn't dry out my hair. The girls were so delighted with my new hairdo. The moment I walked in the house, the girls were commenting about how nice it looked. Anyhoo, I wore my hair straight for about three days until I gave up and had to wash it.

The next morning I walked out of my bedroom and into the kitchen. Maddy looked at me from across the bar area and then said, "Oh...hmmm. You have your old hair."

Sweet Life

As I was preparing dinner tonight, Maddy, Lizzy, and Sawyer were playing house. Maddy and Lizzy had pregnant bellies and I'm not sure what Sawyer was up to. I heard the girls talking to Sawyer, but again, wasn't following the conversation.

As Sawyer climbed up to the counter, he looked at me with a very distressed look. He proceeded to ask, "Mommy, you gonna have another baby?"

I said, "Uh...no. You're my baby."

The girls then sighed, "Aww, man!?!?!?!"

I then asked, "Do you want mommy to have another baby?" Of course, I knew what the girls would say. They both replied quickly, "Yeah!!!"

What I didn't expect was the immediate reaction I got from Sawyer. He, again, very distressingly said, "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It cracked me up because the girls have always been up for siblings and here was my little boy, the baby of the family, who understood what would happen to his position in the family and very clearly was not even remotely interested in giving that up. Ahhhh.....the sweet life he has.

Two Hands

We got in the car tonight to head home after I taught at the Y. As we were all settling in our seats, Maddy said, "I miss daddy. I want to talk to him."

I called Kerpatrick and handed Maddy the phone. I heard her having a nice conversation when all of the sudden she said, "Oh! Oooops!" She had accidentally hung up the phone and was now asking how to redial to reach daddy.

Before I could even give her instructions on how to use my new Smartphone, Kerpatrick had called back and Maddy had figured out how to answer the call. She then said in this very grown up voice, "Oh, hey, daddy. Sorry about that. I was tryin' to get my seatbelt on and then, ya know, I was tryin' to hold the phone. I only got two hands."

The Mayor

The other night Kerpatrick, our realtor, and myself needed to have a three-way phone conversation. It was a very important talk and so, preemptively, I told the kids, "Guys, mommy is on a very important phone call. I need you all to go in the other room and let mommy talk."

Maddy then looked at me and said in a sassy, but yet extremely funny tone, "Who ya talkin' to?....the Mayor?"

Strawberry Picking

This past weekend I went to visit Kansas City to go house hunting and check out the area. It was the very first time that we had left the kids alone for an extended time without either Kerpatrick or myself being there.

Our neighbor, Katie, stayed with them one of the days and decided to take all three of them strawberry picking. When I called that night to check on them, Katie told me all about strawberry picking. She said that it was so funny how each one of their little personalities came to light during their trip. I asked her how so and this is what she explained to me...

They had been picking strawberries for about half an hour and when Katie looked in Maddy's bucket, Maddy had 12 strawberries. Each one of Maddy's strawberries were perfect. They were gorgeous in size, color, and shape. She had been meticulous in her quest for strawberries. Her quality control was above what a normal six year old should care about.

When Katie checked Lizzy's bucket, Lizzy had over 400 strawberries. Her bucket was overflowing and she just kept picking whatever red berry she saw.

When Katie looked over at Sawyer, he had no strawberries in his bucket because they were all over his face, hands, legs, hair, etc. He was just picking and eating. Picking and eating.

I giggled at this story. It was so typical of my three children. So individual in nature, so independent...

In The Lines

Two weeks ago I picked Kerpatrick up from the airport. He flew in to Norfolk for the first time since he left for Kansas City weeks before. The kids were so excited to see him. Everyone was talking all at once and I couldn't even get a word in edgewise.

Kerpatrick just listened and smiled in awe. He was absolutely adoring his three children. When he finally could get a break through all the chatter to say something, he told each one of them how much they had grown and changed since he saw them last.

Kerpatrick told Maddy that he was so impressed with her reading and was admiring her long hair. He told Sawyer how proud he was of his extensive vocabulary and his ability to be so observant. Kerpatrick then turned to Lizzy to tell her what he noticed about her and before he could even speak, she shouted out, "Yeah! AND I'm coloring in the lines!!!!"

Kid Yogi

It's a normal occurrence for the kids to come tell me when one of their siblings is bothering them.

Today I actually heard something I have never heard before from Maddy:

"Mom!!!!!! Sawyer's bothering me during my yoga time!"

Sure enough, I looked over there and Maddy had created a yoga mat out of a blanket and was doing the cobra.

Sherlock Maddy

We were leaving Walmart yesterday morning and I said, "We need to run to the car. Looks like it's going to rain. Well....that's what the weatherman said anyhow."

Maddy then tells her siblings, "Yeah, that's what the weatherman said. Mama should know. She watched the weatherman on tv last night."

Lizzy immediately questions Maddy asking, "Maddy, did you see mama watching tv? How do you know she saw the weatherman?"

Maddy gets this look on her face and then says:

"Well.......my furniture gave me hints. You see.....I came down the stairs this morning and this is what I saw....the pillows were all stacked up on this side, like this (imagine a visual).....the blankets were all crumpled on this side like this (imagine another visual)....so, I just pictured mom laying like this (again a visual) on the couch watching tv. Ta Da! See....the clues helped me solve the mystery!"

What a super sleuth....

Frank - Part II

On Thursday Frank came by to check on the work he had done Wednesday. He asked if anything needed to be touched up and if I was satisfied with the work. Of course, I told Frank how everything was lovely and how he was doing a fantastic job.

All of a sudden, Lizzy comes running through the house....."Mr. Frank! Mr. Frank! You got grass all over my slide. I couldn't slide down it because there was grass everywhere." It was very matter-of-fact, not rude, more of a constructive feedback kind of tone.

Frank replied, "Oh! I am so sorry. Thank you for letting me know. I won't ever get better and do my job well if no one ever lets me know what I'm doing wrong. Thank you so much." He was, again, kind and gracious. He proceeded to ask, "Is the grass still on there?" Lizzy nodded. Frank continued, "I'll go take care of that right now and I'll make sure when I cut the grass next week to blow off your playset."

I told Frank that it wasn't necessary and that he should call it a night, but Frank ran out to his car, got the blower, and cleaned off all of the playset. Lizzy ran to the back door, opened it, and said, "Thank you, Mr. Frank!!!!!!" in this proud, elated voice.

Frank replied, "No problem! Thank you for telling me what I needed to do better. I wish more people were like you!"

I felt proud of Lizzy for being so honest and wondered where along the way I gained the fear of giving people feedback. I also admired Frank for the gracious way he received the feedback from a 4-year old and, again, was in awe of his pure heart.

Frank - Part I

Since Kerpatrick has been in Kansas City and the lawnmower broke, we decided to hire Frank. Frank is this amazingly, wonderful man who does everyone's yards in the neighborhood. He only charges me $35 for the front, the back, edging, and blowing. It's a deal if you ask me. I recently told KP how I felt blessed to have Frank in my life. He is this kind man who used to be an elementary school music teacher. He also used to be in the Virginia Symphony. Frank actually has prostate cancer and goes to radiation treatments nearly every day.

You would never know that this man has cancer. He's out there every day taking care of people's lawns and carrying on with the most positive attitude.

My kids love Frank. The other day Frank came over to just to follow up on the job he had done for me the day before. He was standing outside and Sawyer said to him, "Mr. Frank, you have green shoes, green socks, green pants.......green everything!!!!" Frank replied, "Yup....everything's green 'cept my bank account!"

Frank never worries about being getting paid. He is always kind and generous.

The other day he wasn't able to get the mowing done before we were having professional photos of the house taken. They had rescheduled his radiation treatment and Frank called to ask what time I needed him. When he realized that his radiation treatment and the time I needed him conflicted, he decided to forgo his appointment.

I, of course, said that was out of the question. I told him to keep his appointment and that I could run down to my neighbor's to borrow a lawnmower. Frank said that he was a couple blocks away and would lend me his lawnmower instead.

He pulled up, got out of the car, and explained his self propelled mower to me. I started to mow and Frank started to edge. I asked him if he was going to be late and he said that he should be fine. So there Frank and I were.....I mowed, he edged - a pretty good team.

Frank had to leave before I finished mowing the back, but before he left I tried to pay him for the edging work he had done, etc. He wouldn't let me pay him. In fact, I had to keep the mower and he had to come back for it after his appointment. I tried, again, to give him money and he wouldn't take it.

The other day when Frank came over, he expressed his sincere condolences about losing Llewellyn. He talked about how full of life she was and that he was surprised to hear of her passing from a neighbor.

It's rare that you find this truely genuine kindness. It makes me stop and wonder if Frank's presence in my life was supposed to be a gift.

Life as a Baby

Today Maddy had a nostalgic moment as we were eating lunch. She said outloud, "Ya know. I miss being a baby. It was easier being a baby."

I then asked, "So, what do you remember about being a baby and what was so great about it?"

She answered, "Oh, you know....everybody always makes comments about how cute you are, blah, blah, blah...." She paused for a moment. "Oooo, except diaper changes. I didn't like getting my diaper changed."

The Schedule

After teaching my Double Step class today at the YMCA, we were driving home when I decided to go over the day's schedule with the kids.

I started off saying how we were going to go home, eat lunch, take naps, and then go to Walmart to grocery shop. I proceeded to explain that after Walmart, we were going to go home, empty the groceries and then go to see the Curious George Show at the Constant Convocation Center.

I then asked if anyone had any questions...my 4-year old, Lizzy, of course, had a question. "Um...so, mom, when are you going to take a shower?" she asked.

Fishing Sea

This morning I was alone with Lizzy. When you are alone with Lizzy, Lizzy becomes the world's biggest talker. She talks and talks. Talks to me, talks to herself, talks to the bagger at the grocery store.

Lizzy spotted a Norfolk Southern truck and yelled out - "Hey, Norfolk Seven! That's daddy's work!" She then asked why the truck was in Norfolk. I had to explain that Norfolk Southern was a big company and that the railroad went across the country to Kansas which is why daddy was in Kansas City, etc.

She then asked, "Is daddy living in a hotel?"

I said, "Well, daddy's actually living in an effiency apartment." Lizzy then gasped, "A FISHING SEA?!?!?! I thought there weren't any seas in Kansas!?!?!?!"

Lew's Big Adventure

A week before Lew passed away, she had taken herself for a walk....

My neighbor, Karen, rang our doorbell. I answered the door and immediately thought something was odd because Karen has never come to our house in the 2 years we have lived here.

"Do you have a Great Dane?" she asked. I answered, "A Great Dane? No. We have a Doberman?"

"Yes, yes, maybe that's it.....I saw this dog in my yard. Then it went across the street to Linda's yard and down the block. I thought.....hmmmm.....yes, it must be their dog and I came over here to tell you."

I knew that I had just let Lew in the back and our yard was fenced so it couldn't have been our dog. I looked out the back window and I couldn't see the dog. I got a little nervous, ran to the back kitchen door, and opened it up to look out. When I opened the door, Lew was standing right next to it, on the top step. She looked up at me like, "Hey?!?! What's up?!?!?"

I turned back to Karen and said, "Must not have been our dog. Our dog's right here." Karen then asked to see the dog. She came to the back and scratched her head while saying, "Yeah...looked just like your dog. Hmmm. I guess they say everyone has a twin. Sorry to bother you."

As she left and I shut the door, I thought, "What if the side gate is open?" I put on my shoes and went around to the side of the house. Sure enough, the gate was wide open. When I walked through the gate, I found that the dog had 2 water bottles and a tennis ball in her possession. All of which, I have no idea where they came from.

I closed the gate and smiled. I just imagined the dog spotting Karen heading toward our house and then Lew running back to beat her to the backyard like Ferris Bueller.

My 4-Legged Child

On October 31, 2009, our dog was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy. She was put on several different medications and limited exertion. The vet gave her about 6 months to live and this past Saturday, I lost my pet and best friend, Llewellyn.

It had been 5.5 months since her diagnosis. No one even knew she had a health issue. She was playful, sprite, and full of life. She didn't even have gray hair. She was only 7 and would have turned 8 this Thursday.

It was apparent Friday night that she wasn't feeling well. She had lost control over her bladder and seemed to be moving slower.

On Saturday morning I didn't hear her whine to be let out/eat. I went out to check on her and she was just standing there. I filled up her bowl with food and walked away. When I came back, the dog's bowl was still of food. I let her outside and she walked real slow.

I watched the dog for a while and she was going to different places of the yard that she never hung out in before. I called the vet and the vet said that I needed to bring her in. I made arrangements to bring the dog in and went outside to get her.

I called her and she looked at me. We made eye contact and then she walked away. I went back inside, got a treat, and called her again. I threw the treat at her and she didn't move. I got on my shoes and walked out to her. As we stood under the tree, I pet her, told her I loved her, told her she was a good dog....I gave her a hug and some kisses. As I walked off, Lew followed me. I asked her if she wanted to go inside and I opened the door. She walked inside slowly and went to her bowl. I tried to feed her a second time, but she didn't want to eat. She drank all of the water in her bowl and I filled it up a second time.

I went over to wash the dishes in the sink and she came over to me. She wedged herself in between me and the cabinet. I continued to do the dishes over the dog. She then layed down on my feet. I finished doing the dishes, dryed my hands, and turned back around to see her laying in an akward position. I went over to her, put my hands on her, and asked if she was okay.

At that point, she had lost control of her bowels. I told the kids to stay out of the kitchen as I was by myself and KP was in Kansas City. They did as I asked and I ran to get the phone. I called the vet and told them that I didn't know what to do. I was by myself and didn't think I could move my 86 pound Lew-Lew. As I was on the phone, the dog went into a grand mal seizure. She then took 3 big, deep breaths, and was gone.

I got down and put my head on her chest to see if I could hear her heart or feel her chest rise, but I didn't. I saw water running out of her mouth all over the floor.

I was able to get my friend and neighbor to come over and help put the kids upstairs while we tried to move Lew. Erin also brought our other neighbor, Katie, to help. The two of them had moved Lew while I was preparing the car. When I came back into the house, they were trying to move the dog onto the blanket. We started to carry the blanket like a hammock, but I felt very uncomfortable and wrong. At that point, I prayed hard to god to give me the strength to carry my pet to the car.

I was crying and shaking, but I made it to the van. I placed her in, uncovered her head, and drove to the vet. I parked in the back and the doctor ran out with two assistants. He checked her heart and told me she was gone. I already knew.

He then helped to get her on the stretcher and take her inside. They placed her on the floor because I had asked to be alone with her. I didn't have a moment to be with her without the chaos and the kids. I just layed there for 20-30 min. I layed there and cried. I pet her. I cleaned her eyes, I loved on her. I stayed until I could feel her body get cold and then I said goodbye to my loving, beloved, loyal friend.

Every day has been a struggle. It's hard to open the door and not have her greet me. I actually miss her nudging her head between me and the computer keyboard. I miss her whining. I miss her doggy breath, her cold nose.....

The kids made pictures of her and Lizzy asked me if I could mail it to heaven.

Lew-Lew, you were a kind, gentle soul. You were a beautiful, graceful creature. You were full of life, loved our family, and were adored by many. I was comforted with you here and my husband gone. I felt safe that you guarded our family. I loved you more than I thought possible to love an animal. You were my first dog and my best friend. I miss you and will miss you all the days of my life......

KC

We just found out that we are moving to Kansas City. KP was given less than 2 weeks to get out there into his new job. We have been excited, but sad to leave.

We had just finished this discussion of all the things that we were going to miss about Norfolk when KP walked out to the family room to sit down on the couch to watch tv. I was still in the kitchen and happened to "toot" and it was louder than expected. I turned to look in the family room to see if KP heard it by chance. Of course I found him to have a rather disgusted look on his face.

To lighten the mood, I said, "Bet you won't miss that in Kansas City!" He then replied to me, "Don't worry. I'll still hear it."

Birthdays

Maddy just had her birthday on February 27th. It was a pajama night/movie party from 5-7pm and it was a huge success. She got to invite 6 friends over. We had pizza and cake. Easy.

She's already planning her future birthday parties.

We were in the car a few days ago and Maddy says to me, "Okay, next year I would like to have a make-up party." "The year after that I want a horse theme, then I want....."

She kept going until we were at her 10th or 11th birthday. I was driving while just nodding my head and then Maddy said, "Um......are you getting this? I think you should be writing this down." "Seriously, I think you need to be writing this down, it's a lot to remember."

Dry Skin

The other day my skin was really dry. I don't mean rough feeling....I mean, flaky, very apparent dry skin. Kerpatrick lovingly referred to my condition as "my face falling apart."

The girls, of course, took note of my dry skin. Maddy said, "Mommy! What is happening to your face! It looks like white hair. No, it looks like a beard of white flakes. It looks awful..."

She was about to continue on with her descriptions when I cut her off to say, "Okay, that's enough. You are starting to hurt mommy's feelings."

Lizzy, my sweet girl, took note of my embarrassment and said, "Oh, mommy. Your face is pretty. It's like white sprinkles on your face. It's like you have white glitter. It's pretty..."

Leave it to Lizzy to try to make me feel better....

Shooting Star

Last Saturday we were down in Summerville, SC for my sis-in-law's baby shower. Some of the adults and all the kids decided to play Ghost in the Graveyard that night (it's like hide and go seek in the dark).

One of the women my age, Becca, was hiding with Maddy. As they were in their hiding spot, Becca spotted a shooting star and said to Maddy, "Look, Maddy! A shooting star! You are supposed to make a wish when you see a shooting star!"

Maddy then closed her eyes, put her hands in prayer position, and said, "I wish we had a better hiding place."

Sawyer!

When Kerpatrick came home tonight, the house was in its usual frenzy. Toys, shoes, backpacks, etc. thrown everywhere.

I was making dinner, but managed to yell out to him, "Please take the juice boxes away from Sawyer. I need them for Maddy's party tomorrow!"

Kerpatrick easily jumped into helping me out. He picked up all the juice boxes and walked into the kitchen. He then looked at me and said, "Okay.....I got 12 juice boxes...but only 2 straws."

Sawyer's done it again.

$5 Lunch

Tomorrow is Maddy's birthday. I can't believe it! My oldest child, my first baby, is going to be 6 years old!

Maddy had been begging me to eat lunch with her at school since school started last August. I decided that today would be a great day to do that.

As a lunch tradition, one of the teachers walks around with a microphone to all the students who have visitors. She asks them who is visiting and why they came to visit. As the teacher was going around the room asking the other children why their mom, dad, grandparent, etc. came to visit them, I muttered to myself in a ghetto voice, "Mama came for da five dolla' lunch."

Most of the other kids' dialogue with the teacher went like this:

Teacher: "Hello.......who is visiting with you today?"
Kid: "My mommy."
Teacher: ".....and why is your mommy here with you today?"
Kid: "...because she loves me."

Here's how the dialogue went with my Maddy:

Teacher: "Hi, Maddy. Who is here with you today?
Maddy: "This is my mommy."
Teacher: "Aw......and why is mommy here with you today?
Maddy: "...because it's my birthday...and she wanted a $5 lunch."

Laughter erupted. Kids. They say the darndest things.

Nurse's Office

Last weekend I went home to see my dad in ICU after his open heart surgery. I decided to take Lizzy with me so that Kerpatrick wouldn't be overwhelmed with all three for an entire weekend. My brother-in-law was gracious enough to watch Lizzy along with his two girls so that my sister and I could go see my dad.

I had to explain to Lizzy that she wasn't able to go with me to the hospital to see Pop. Lizzy immediately started with the "Why?" questioning. Once I told her that children weren't allowed in and that Pop had to spend the night in the hospital, she asked, "Oh!!!! Is Pop going to sleep in the nurse's office?"

I Tol' You

So this morning my son sneakily gets out a box of Cheez-Its and eats them in the Lazy Boy chair in the family room. I, being distracted with making lunches, breakfast, etc., was unaware of this. The next thing I know, I hear Sawyer saying, "Mom. Llewellyn's eating da Cheez-Its. Mom, Llewellyn's eating da Cheez-Its....." I finally looked up to see the dog's muzzle completely in the bag of Cheez-Its going to town.

I ran across the room to pick up the bag and I said to Sawyer, "Grrrrrr. Mommy is so angry with you." He then responded, "What? I tol' you. I say, 'Mom, Llewellyn eating da Cheez-Its!' What?"

I then explained how he is not supposed to be eating the Cheez-Its at 7am and that he wasn't supposed to be eating them in the family room. His response? "Oh, I sorry."

Goody Bag

Maddy's 6th birthday is coming up at the end of this month. For the longest time, she's been asking Nana and Pop to come eat lunch with her at school.

Yesterday I had to let Maddy know that they wouldn't be able to come to school and eat lunch with her nor would they be able to come for her birthday because Pop was having open heart surgery. Maddy then asked (and spelled out), "What about N-a-n-a?"

I explained that Nana couldn't come because she would be taking care of Pop......Immediately Lizzy started with the "Why?" line of questioning while Maddy showed concern and asked, "Is he going to be alright?"

I explained the best way that I could and assured them that Pop would be fine. Lizzy seemed pretty satisfied with my answer and then ended the conversation by saying, "Well, we'll just have to save Pop a goody bag."

Tee Time

The way that our house is set up is such that you can walk a complete circle from the foyer of the front of the house, through the dining room, den, master bedroom, and hall (where Sawyer's room is also located).

KP is really great about getting up with the kids on Saturday mornings. I usually am not sleeping, but I like to lay in the bed for a minute and enjoy the downtime before the insanity begins.

Sawyer has this cool Little Tykes golf cart and clubs set. He loves his golf cart. This one Saturday morning when Sawyer was about 18 months old, he came running through my bedroom and continued along the circle around the house with that golf cart.

Bam, bam, bam, bam. Bam, bam, bam, bam. He must have run around the house in that circle at least four times before I gave up and got out of the bed so begrudgingly.

When I walked out, KP saw my discontent amidst the disheveled hair-do and said, "Hey, man. It's not my fault he has an early morning tee time."

9:00

Many of you know that I have five million jobs. Given that I have all these jobs like teaching aerobics and cake decorating, I often work nights which means that KP has to take care of the kids. The kids are used to having their dad bathe them and put them to bed. Tonight, I was the one to do the bath and bedtime routine.

After dinner I announced that it was bath time. Lizzy looked at me and said, "Does dad know that we are going to take a bath now?" I, not understanding, gave her a questionable look. "I don't understand what you are asking, Lizzy." I said. Lizzy asked, "Well, where is dad?" I told her that dad was teaching a class and that I would be the one putting them to bed tonight. Lizzy then asked, "Is dad ever coming home?" I said, "Of course, Lizzy! He'll be home at 9:00."

Lizzy looked at me and said, "Oh, is that the time when grown-ups watch their TV shows?"

Boys

The other night Kerpatrick left Lizzy and Sawyer alone in the bathroom right before they were going to take a bath.

Kerpatrick walked back into the bathroom as Lizzy was saying to Sawyer, "You need to say 'thank you' to me, Sawyer."

Kerpatrick then inquired, "Why does Sawyer need to thank you?"

Lizzy turned and looked at him confidently, "Because he pee-peed and I cleaned up his boy splatter!"

Roses

When Maddy was two we put her in a two day a week, two-year old preschool program. Most of the kids in her class were still in diapers. One day, one of the kids had a poopy diaper and the teacher went to change him. Maddy was nearby and made a comment about how "stinky" it was.

The teacher got down on Maddy's level and said, "You know, Maddy, that's natural. Everyone poops and everyone's poop stinks."

Maddy then quickly replied knowingly, "Uh-uh. Not my daddy's. My daddy's smells like roses."

Half of a Half

It snowed again this weekend! We didn't get as much as last weekend, but it was definitely enough to put us in the cookie baking mode! We decided to make some homemade oatmeal cookies.

Once the cookies were done baking, each one of the kids was given 2 cookies to eat; however, they all begged for more. I told Sawyer that he and Lizzy could split a cookie in half. To make it fair, I divided the cookie for them. I then told Sawyer to give Lizzy her half. "Okay, mommy! I give her half." he said.

I turned away from him, but was still watching him out of the corner of my eye. Just as Sawyer was about to walk off to give Lizzy her half of the cookie, I saw him stop then get this sneaky look on his face. He took Lizzy's half of the cookie and divided it, again, in front of her. He then said so sweetly, "Here you go, Lizzy. Here's your half!" He quickly turned back around and ate the remaining half plus dunked his original cookie half in milk and ate that.

Poor Lizzy didn't even know that she only got half of a half of a cookie.

ABC's

My precious 2 year old has been singing his ABC's non-stop. Here you go (try singing it, it works better)....

Sawyer's ABC Song

"A-B-C-D-E-F-G

H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P

Q-R-S

Do-you-see?

W-X

Y and Z...."

Blog

The other night I was typing up a blog when Maddy, my 5 year old, came up behind me. "Whatchya doin'?" she asked. "Mommy's doing some work." I replied. Maddy proceeds to read the blog over my shoulder. She then says, "Hey! That story's about me!" I then explained to her what a blog was and why I was typing up the stories. She seemed pretty content with my explanation and thought it was neat.

Fastforward to tonight....we were driving home from Parents' Night Out at the Y and the kids were all hyped up. They each had funny things to say and were making up crazy stories. The mixture of candy gummies and being up way past their bedtime got them a little amped up.

I can't even remember what the particulars were of the conversation, but as I was chuckling at something one of them said, Maddy chimed in, "Sounds like one for your blog, mom."

Seeing London

This morning, as KP was shaving and his hands were covered in shaving cream, Sawyer came up behind him and pulled his pants down. KP exclaimed, "Hey, Sawyer!!!!!! What are ya doin' man?" Sawyer smiled and said innocently, "I just helping you, daddy. See? I helping you get ready for work. I take off your pajama pants for you."

KP, still excited, said, "Uh....okay....thanks, buddy....."

Sawyer then backs up out of the bathroom, into the hall, and says, "I just trickin' you, daddy! Ha, ha, I see London, I see France. I see daddy underpants!"

.....then, he runs......

Raining Valentines

Here's the exchange between Lizzy and daddy before bed last night...

Lizzy: "Daddy, I'm so excited for Valentines' Day!"

Daddy: "That's wonderful, Lizzy!"

Lizzy: "Yeah, daddy, will Valentines fall down from the sky?"

Daddy: "Uh....."

Apologize

I'm leaving the Y today after teaching my class and had to run by the post office. Of course, Sawyer and Lizzy wanted to hold the mail until we got there. I gave Sawyer one envelope and Lizzy one envelope. I also let them know that they had to be very careful with the mail because it was special (Maddy's birthday invites).

Not two seconds later, I look back and Sawyer has the envelope in his mouth. I immediately grab it from him and tell him that he can no longer have the mail. I also asked him to apologize because mommy had already told him to be gentle with the envelope.

He, being his stubborn self, would not apologize. I tried to prompt him again, "Sawyer, please apologize." "Sawyer, you need to say that you are sorry."

Lizzy then chimes in, "Come on, Sawyer. Just do it. Say, 'I'm sorry, invitation.'"

Maddy's Prayer

My friend, Karen, reminded me about this story...

A couple months ago I had all three children in church with me by myself. The kids were doing pretty well. (As well as a 5, 4, and 2 year old can during a Catholic mass).

Maddy tugged at my arm and said, "Ya got some crayons?" I answered, "No." She tugged again, "Ya got some paper?" I answered, "No." Maddy tugged once more, "Well....what am I supposed to do here?" I answered her politely, "Maddy, why don't you do what everyone else in church is doing - pray?"

Maddy then whispers quietly to herself with eyes closed:

"Dear Lord, I'm extremely bored." ....and opens one eye to look at me.

Where's Santa?

My friend Jess wanted me to share this story with you all because she loves this Lewis story...



When I was 20 weeks pregnant with Sawyer, we went in for the big ultrasound. It was Dec 23rd and we decided to take Maddy with us so that she could see her potential brother/sister on the screen.



Living in Norfolk, you come across some locals with some real deep accents. Our ultrasound tech, Sue, happened to be one of them. As Sue was showing us the baby/baby's placenta on the monitor, she pointed and said (try reading this with a southern accent), "Well, there's the plah-san-ta wall right there."



Maddy immediately started to squeal while looking around at the walls, "Where's Santa?!?!?!? Where's Santa?!?!?!?!"

Costco

A couple of weeks ago I took the kids to Costco to get some normal grocery items. While we were there, Sawyer happened to have some "lettuce" hanging out of his nose. Me, in my typical mom fashion, had to "clean" him up right there in the middle of the store.

The girls were amazed at the size of Sawyer's boogers.

Later that night while at dinner, the subject came up in front of daddy.

Maddy: "Daddy! You should have seen Sawyer's boogers today at Costco!"
Daddy: "Did they come in bulk?"

Dear Lord, Cheez-Its

Today I started laughing so hard when I recalled a story from last summer.

I was in the family room and Lizzy came running down the stairs with wide eyes. She looked around the room as if she lost something. I said to her, "Lizzy, what are you looking for?" She replied, "Where is he?" I said, "Where's who?" She said, "Ya know....Jesus."

I really didn't know how to answer her. I was sort of thrown off guard so I asked, "Why are you looking for Jesus?" She said, "Maddy said that Jesus was down here." By that time, Maddy (the oldest) had come down the stairs. Maddy started shaking her head and smirking. She turned to Lizzy and said, "Oh, Lizzy, I said we had Cheez-Its downstairs."

Tooty Mommy

I was changing Sawyer's sheets thinking that it was just my son and I alone when I felt the urge to.....(you can fill in the blanks). To my surprise, my two year old son actually had commentary about the event. He had a furrow in his eyebrows, a pouty lip, and said, "Ugh. Now we have to clean my sheets again."

Simultaneously, my hubby walks by Sawyer's room very subtly and says, "I'm starting my own blog, Tooty Mommy."

Sawyer then picked up his play cell phone and said, "Hello? Police officers? My mommy not being nice to me. She tooting in my room. Take her to jail."

Kerpatrick then shouts from the other room, "Sounds like my first blog entry!"

I Hate Poo

So....I'm in the kitchen doing the dishes and I hear Lizzy and Sawyer start to squabble. The end result? Lizzy blurts out to Sawyer, "I hate you!" I immediately turn off the water and run over to Lizzy to place her in a time out. She sees my disapproving face and says, "I said, "I hate poo." "I hate poo!" I, again, reitterate the consequences of not only saying what she did, but now lying. I place her back in the time out chair and tell her to sit there quietly. As I walk off, she opens her mouth once more to say, "What is silence?"

Ahhhh, Lizzy....

Girls Rule

How did the Lewis family pass the time today?

Maddy made up a game for us to play. It was mommy vs. daddy. Pink team vs. the blue team. Maddy, the moderator, gave each one of us players a word with which we had to rhyme with another word.

Round #1

Maddy: "Okay, mommy, your word is cat."
Mommy: "Hat!"
Maddy: "Correct!"
Maddy: "Daddy, your word is......whiskers."

Pink team wins.

Snow Excited!

Lizzy's room is right above the master bedroom. This morning, we awoke to the sound of, "Bam." "Boom, boom, boom." Pause. "Boom, boom, boom, boom....." "Bam, bam, bam, bam...." We lovingingly refer to this as "a herd of elephants." Lizzy literally jumped out of bed, ran to her window, ran to the other window in her room, ran down 14 stairs, and flung open our door to say, "It's true, it's true! It did snow!" She also wondered if Santa was coming?!?!?

Being in the Hampton Roads area, snow doesn't happen very often and NEVER this much! In fact, Maddy and Lizzy have only seen snow once or twice. I am not sure that Sawyer has even seen it at all.

Lizzy looked out the back windows of the house and said, "Look! There's Llewellyn's (our dog) footprints! I can see them!" My hubby then said, "Yes. This leads us to our first rule about the snow...Do not eat yellow snow."

God Bless Her

Lizzy, our 4 year old, is our middle child. Our discovery of her existence was deemed a "pleasant surprise" and she has continued to graciously surprise us with her unique personality (and sense of style).

Every Monday, Lizzy and I sit down to do her pre-k homework. It's called Home Connection and involves me asking Lizzy a series of questions based off of that week's theme in school. Lizzy then dictates the answers to me and I write them down for her. I used to prompt Lizzy for the correct answer until I realized that Lizzy's answers to these questions were so hilariously funny I needed to share them with her teacher.

Last week -

Me: "Lizzy, how do scarves, mittens, and hats keep us warm?

Lizzy sat there pondering the question. All of the sudden, her face looked up at me like she just made some huge discovery. Her eyes got big and she proceeded to give me the following answer...

Lizzy: "I know! The clothes are superhero clothes!"

This week -

Me: "Lizzy, what does the word winter begin with?"
Lizzy: "W"
Me: "What does the letter W sound like?"
Lizzy: "d-d-d-double u."
Me: "Okay? Um...well what words begin with w?"
Lizzy: "Water."
Me: "Yes, Lizzy! That's it! Great! What else?"
Lizzy: "Watermelon.....Water from the water park?....Water from the pool!....Water from the puddle....Water from the........"

God bless her.

The Couch Boat

Last Saturday, my oldest child (Maddy, 5) and youngest child (Sawyer, 2) built this fantastic boat out of our couch, pillows, blankets, etc. The boat was even complete with a guitar being used as a paddle. The role playing continued for a while until it was time to go grocery shopping. I called the kids so they could go through the normal routine before leaving the house.....go to the bathroom, put on their socks, shoes, and jackets. Sawyer immediately followed directions and got ready to leave. In usual Maddy fashion, she had to be called repeatedly to come get ready. When I finally got to the point of frustration, she whimsically showed up at the front door. In my stern tone, I began to lecture her on how the rest of the family was ready to go and we were waiting on her blah, blah, blah. I finally asked, "Maddy, what have you been doing?" To my amusement, she confidently answered, "I had to put my anchor down."

I looked at my hubby and we both smirked. How can you argue with that answer?

Finally a Blogger!

For the last 15 years as an Aerobics Instructor, I have always started off my classes with a funny story. The stories used to be about me in a self-depricating light. Since becoming a mom, my stories revolve around my children.

So many people have told me that I needed to write my crazy antics down and I finally decided that tonight was the night!

2010 - The blog begins.....