On October 31, 2009, our dog was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy. She was put on several different medications and limited exertion. The vet gave her about 6 months to live and this past Saturday, I lost my pet and best friend, Llewellyn.
It had been 5.5 months since her diagnosis. No one even knew she had a health issue. She was playful, sprite, and full of life. She didn't even have gray hair. She was only 7 and would have turned 8 this Thursday.
It was apparent Friday night that she wasn't feeling well. She had lost control over her bladder and seemed to be moving slower.
On Saturday morning I didn't hear her whine to be let out/eat. I went out to check on her and she was just standing there. I filled up her bowl with food and walked away. When I came back, the dog's bowl was still of food. I let her outside and she walked real slow.
I watched the dog for a while and she was going to different places of the yard that she never hung out in before. I called the vet and the vet said that I needed to bring her in. I made arrangements to bring the dog in and went outside to get her.
I called her and she looked at me. We made eye contact and then she walked away. I went back inside, got a treat, and called her again. I threw the treat at her and she didn't move. I got on my shoes and walked out to her. As we stood under the tree, I pet her, told her I loved her, told her she was a good dog....I gave her a hug and some kisses. As I walked off, Lew followed me. I asked her if she wanted to go inside and I opened the door. She walked inside slowly and went to her bowl. I tried to feed her a second time, but she didn't want to eat. She drank all of the water in her bowl and I filled it up a second time.
I went over to wash the dishes in the sink and she came over to me. She wedged herself in between me and the cabinet. I continued to do the dishes over the dog. She then layed down on my feet. I finished doing the dishes, dryed my hands, and turned back around to see her laying in an akward position. I went over to her, put my hands on her, and asked if she was okay.
At that point, she had lost control of her bowels. I told the kids to stay out of the kitchen as I was by myself and KP was in Kansas City. They did as I asked and I ran to get the phone. I called the vet and told them that I didn't know what to do. I was by myself and didn't think I could move my 86 pound Lew-Lew. As I was on the phone, the dog went into a grand mal seizure. She then took 3 big, deep breaths, and was gone.
I got down and put my head on her chest to see if I could hear her heart or feel her chest rise, but I didn't. I saw water running out of her mouth all over the floor.
I was able to get my friend and neighbor to come over and help put the kids upstairs while we tried to move Lew. Erin also brought our other neighbor, Katie, to help. The two of them had moved Lew while I was preparing the car. When I came back into the house, they were trying to move the dog onto the blanket. We started to carry the blanket like a hammock, but I felt very uncomfortable and wrong. At that point, I prayed hard to god to give me the strength to carry my pet to the car.
I was crying and shaking, but I made it to the van. I placed her in, uncovered her head, and drove to the vet. I parked in the back and the doctor ran out with two assistants. He checked her heart and told me she was gone. I already knew.
He then helped to get her on the stretcher and take her inside. They placed her on the floor because I had asked to be alone with her. I didn't have a moment to be with her without the chaos and the kids. I just layed there for 20-30 min. I layed there and cried. I pet her. I cleaned her eyes, I loved on her. I stayed until I could feel her body get cold and then I said goodbye to my loving, beloved, loyal friend.
Every day has been a struggle. It's hard to open the door and not have her greet me. I actually miss her nudging her head between me and the computer keyboard. I miss her whining. I miss her doggy breath, her cold nose.....
The kids made pictures of her and Lizzy asked me if I could mail it to heaven.
Lew-Lew, you were a kind, gentle soul. You were a beautiful, graceful creature. You were full of life, loved our family, and were adored by many. I was comforted with you here and my husband gone. I felt safe that you guarded our family. I loved you more than I thought possible to love an animal. You were my first dog and my best friend. I miss you and will miss you all the days of my life......
I am so sorry, Ginny. Lew was lucky to have you as her "mom".
ReplyDeleteStacy
That is so sweet. I understand how pets are like family members/humans, actually better than humans in some cases. I grew up with lots of dogs and used to talk to them about anything and felt so much better when I was done. They just seemed to listen and don't interrupt you, judge you, say they dont have time for you or any of that stuff. Sty strong Lewis family and remember you can get another dog but none will take her place so don't ever forget her. Your friends/family here will miss you all when you relocate and I will feel this same way. We can get another person at the Y but none can replace you. Take care
ReplyDeleteA heart of gold stopped beating,
ReplyDeletetwo shining eyes at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove,
He only takes the best.
God knows you had to leave us,
but you did not go alone,
a part of us went with you,
the day He took you home.
To some you are forgotten,
to others just part of the past,
but to the ones who loved and lost you,
the memory will always last.
The loss of a family pet is sometimes more difficult than the loss of a family member due to their unconditional love! I lost mine 3 years ago and she was my first dog too, so I know what you are going through! When you told me that you still hear her in the house- I was remembering how I swore I heard Kolby in my house after she died. They are such a big part of your family that it is so painful when they are gone! I still have my doggy door up and just can't seem to take it down. I kept her collar & tags. She was my "first born" and Caitlin will even tell people that she wasn't Mommy's first baby- Kolby was! I am so sorry that KP wasn't in town and you actually watched her die- how horrible for you! It is okay to cry in front of your kids- i did many times- Caitlin consoled me! She told me that Kolby is playing in heaven with God, my Dad and Aunt Sally! Plus she said sometimes he comes down and visits - we just can't see her. She sleeps with Caitlin sometimes and even goes to school with her!
ReplyDeleteDear Ginny, I feel sad for your loss. We loved Lady Llewellyn. Peace, Love,Patty
ReplyDeleteUncle Rob and I were in tears as we read about your loss of Llewellyn. How very difficult this had to be for you to handle by yourself. You are a real trooper, Ginny! This has to be a sad time for you and the children. You have lost your friend, companion, and guardian. You are all in our thoughts,and prayers go to Llewellyn as he enters "doggie heaven". Love, Aunt B
ReplyDeleteOH Gin, I just read this and I can not see through my own tears. I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend, Lew-Lew. Although I never met her,I know how much love a person can carry for their animal pals. I pray for your strength in the upcoming months to learn how to live without Lew Lew by your side. I can't imagine the day I lose one of my furry boys. Just know in your heart Lew will be awaiting your cuddles and open arms in Heaven.
ReplyDeleteAll my love,Cousin Carrie