Sawyer!

When Kerpatrick came home tonight, the house was in its usual frenzy. Toys, shoes, backpacks, etc. thrown everywhere.

I was making dinner, but managed to yell out to him, "Please take the juice boxes away from Sawyer. I need them for Maddy's party tomorrow!"

Kerpatrick easily jumped into helping me out. He picked up all the juice boxes and walked into the kitchen. He then looked at me and said, "Okay.....I got 12 juice boxes...but only 2 straws."

Sawyer's done it again.

$5 Lunch

Tomorrow is Maddy's birthday. I can't believe it! My oldest child, my first baby, is going to be 6 years old!

Maddy had been begging me to eat lunch with her at school since school started last August. I decided that today would be a great day to do that.

As a lunch tradition, one of the teachers walks around with a microphone to all the students who have visitors. She asks them who is visiting and why they came to visit. As the teacher was going around the room asking the other children why their mom, dad, grandparent, etc. came to visit them, I muttered to myself in a ghetto voice, "Mama came for da five dolla' lunch."

Most of the other kids' dialogue with the teacher went like this:

Teacher: "Hello.......who is visiting with you today?"
Kid: "My mommy."
Teacher: ".....and why is your mommy here with you today?"
Kid: "...because she loves me."

Here's how the dialogue went with my Maddy:

Teacher: "Hi, Maddy. Who is here with you today?
Maddy: "This is my mommy."
Teacher: "Aw......and why is mommy here with you today?
Maddy: "...because it's my birthday...and she wanted a $5 lunch."

Laughter erupted. Kids. They say the darndest things.

Nurse's Office

Last weekend I went home to see my dad in ICU after his open heart surgery. I decided to take Lizzy with me so that Kerpatrick wouldn't be overwhelmed with all three for an entire weekend. My brother-in-law was gracious enough to watch Lizzy along with his two girls so that my sister and I could go see my dad.

I had to explain to Lizzy that she wasn't able to go with me to the hospital to see Pop. Lizzy immediately started with the "Why?" questioning. Once I told her that children weren't allowed in and that Pop had to spend the night in the hospital, she asked, "Oh!!!! Is Pop going to sleep in the nurse's office?"

I Tol' You

So this morning my son sneakily gets out a box of Cheez-Its and eats them in the Lazy Boy chair in the family room. I, being distracted with making lunches, breakfast, etc., was unaware of this. The next thing I know, I hear Sawyer saying, "Mom. Llewellyn's eating da Cheez-Its. Mom, Llewellyn's eating da Cheez-Its....." I finally looked up to see the dog's muzzle completely in the bag of Cheez-Its going to town.

I ran across the room to pick up the bag and I said to Sawyer, "Grrrrrr. Mommy is so angry with you." He then responded, "What? I tol' you. I say, 'Mom, Llewellyn eating da Cheez-Its!' What?"

I then explained how he is not supposed to be eating the Cheez-Its at 7am and that he wasn't supposed to be eating them in the family room. His response? "Oh, I sorry."

Goody Bag

Maddy's 6th birthday is coming up at the end of this month. For the longest time, she's been asking Nana and Pop to come eat lunch with her at school.

Yesterday I had to let Maddy know that they wouldn't be able to come to school and eat lunch with her nor would they be able to come for her birthday because Pop was having open heart surgery. Maddy then asked (and spelled out), "What about N-a-n-a?"

I explained that Nana couldn't come because she would be taking care of Pop......Immediately Lizzy started with the "Why?" line of questioning while Maddy showed concern and asked, "Is he going to be alright?"

I explained the best way that I could and assured them that Pop would be fine. Lizzy seemed pretty satisfied with my answer and then ended the conversation by saying, "Well, we'll just have to save Pop a goody bag."

Tee Time

The way that our house is set up is such that you can walk a complete circle from the foyer of the front of the house, through the dining room, den, master bedroom, and hall (where Sawyer's room is also located).

KP is really great about getting up with the kids on Saturday mornings. I usually am not sleeping, but I like to lay in the bed for a minute and enjoy the downtime before the insanity begins.

Sawyer has this cool Little Tykes golf cart and clubs set. He loves his golf cart. This one Saturday morning when Sawyer was about 18 months old, he came running through my bedroom and continued along the circle around the house with that golf cart.

Bam, bam, bam, bam. Bam, bam, bam, bam. He must have run around the house in that circle at least four times before I gave up and got out of the bed so begrudgingly.

When I walked out, KP saw my discontent amidst the disheveled hair-do and said, "Hey, man. It's not my fault he has an early morning tee time."

9:00

Many of you know that I have five million jobs. Given that I have all these jobs like teaching aerobics and cake decorating, I often work nights which means that KP has to take care of the kids. The kids are used to having their dad bathe them and put them to bed. Tonight, I was the one to do the bath and bedtime routine.

After dinner I announced that it was bath time. Lizzy looked at me and said, "Does dad know that we are going to take a bath now?" I, not understanding, gave her a questionable look. "I don't understand what you are asking, Lizzy." I said. Lizzy asked, "Well, where is dad?" I told her that dad was teaching a class and that I would be the one putting them to bed tonight. Lizzy then asked, "Is dad ever coming home?" I said, "Of course, Lizzy! He'll be home at 9:00."

Lizzy looked at me and said, "Oh, is that the time when grown-ups watch their TV shows?"

Boys

The other night Kerpatrick left Lizzy and Sawyer alone in the bathroom right before they were going to take a bath.

Kerpatrick walked back into the bathroom as Lizzy was saying to Sawyer, "You need to say 'thank you' to me, Sawyer."

Kerpatrick then inquired, "Why does Sawyer need to thank you?"

Lizzy turned and looked at him confidently, "Because he pee-peed and I cleaned up his boy splatter!"

Roses

When Maddy was two we put her in a two day a week, two-year old preschool program. Most of the kids in her class were still in diapers. One day, one of the kids had a poopy diaper and the teacher went to change him. Maddy was nearby and made a comment about how "stinky" it was.

The teacher got down on Maddy's level and said, "You know, Maddy, that's natural. Everyone poops and everyone's poop stinks."

Maddy then quickly replied knowingly, "Uh-uh. Not my daddy's. My daddy's smells like roses."

Half of a Half

It snowed again this weekend! We didn't get as much as last weekend, but it was definitely enough to put us in the cookie baking mode! We decided to make some homemade oatmeal cookies.

Once the cookies were done baking, each one of the kids was given 2 cookies to eat; however, they all begged for more. I told Sawyer that he and Lizzy could split a cookie in half. To make it fair, I divided the cookie for them. I then told Sawyer to give Lizzy her half. "Okay, mommy! I give her half." he said.

I turned away from him, but was still watching him out of the corner of my eye. Just as Sawyer was about to walk off to give Lizzy her half of the cookie, I saw him stop then get this sneaky look on his face. He took Lizzy's half of the cookie and divided it, again, in front of her. He then said so sweetly, "Here you go, Lizzy. Here's your half!" He quickly turned back around and ate the remaining half plus dunked his original cookie half in milk and ate that.

Poor Lizzy didn't even know that she only got half of a half of a cookie.

ABC's

My precious 2 year old has been singing his ABC's non-stop. Here you go (try singing it, it works better)....

Sawyer's ABC Song

"A-B-C-D-E-F-G

H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P

Q-R-S

Do-you-see?

W-X

Y and Z...."

Blog

The other night I was typing up a blog when Maddy, my 5 year old, came up behind me. "Whatchya doin'?" she asked. "Mommy's doing some work." I replied. Maddy proceeds to read the blog over my shoulder. She then says, "Hey! That story's about me!" I then explained to her what a blog was and why I was typing up the stories. She seemed pretty content with my explanation and thought it was neat.

Fastforward to tonight....we were driving home from Parents' Night Out at the Y and the kids were all hyped up. They each had funny things to say and were making up crazy stories. The mixture of candy gummies and being up way past their bedtime got them a little amped up.

I can't even remember what the particulars were of the conversation, but as I was chuckling at something one of them said, Maddy chimed in, "Sounds like one for your blog, mom."

Seeing London

This morning, as KP was shaving and his hands were covered in shaving cream, Sawyer came up behind him and pulled his pants down. KP exclaimed, "Hey, Sawyer!!!!!! What are ya doin' man?" Sawyer smiled and said innocently, "I just helping you, daddy. See? I helping you get ready for work. I take off your pajama pants for you."

KP, still excited, said, "Uh....okay....thanks, buddy....."

Sawyer then backs up out of the bathroom, into the hall, and says, "I just trickin' you, daddy! Ha, ha, I see London, I see France. I see daddy underpants!"

.....then, he runs......

Raining Valentines

Here's the exchange between Lizzy and daddy before bed last night...

Lizzy: "Daddy, I'm so excited for Valentines' Day!"

Daddy: "That's wonderful, Lizzy!"

Lizzy: "Yeah, daddy, will Valentines fall down from the sky?"

Daddy: "Uh....."

Apologize

I'm leaving the Y today after teaching my class and had to run by the post office. Of course, Sawyer and Lizzy wanted to hold the mail until we got there. I gave Sawyer one envelope and Lizzy one envelope. I also let them know that they had to be very careful with the mail because it was special (Maddy's birthday invites).

Not two seconds later, I look back and Sawyer has the envelope in his mouth. I immediately grab it from him and tell him that he can no longer have the mail. I also asked him to apologize because mommy had already told him to be gentle with the envelope.

He, being his stubborn self, would not apologize. I tried to prompt him again, "Sawyer, please apologize." "Sawyer, you need to say that you are sorry."

Lizzy then chimes in, "Come on, Sawyer. Just do it. Say, 'I'm sorry, invitation.'"

Maddy's Prayer

My friend, Karen, reminded me about this story...

A couple months ago I had all three children in church with me by myself. The kids were doing pretty well. (As well as a 5, 4, and 2 year old can during a Catholic mass).

Maddy tugged at my arm and said, "Ya got some crayons?" I answered, "No." She tugged again, "Ya got some paper?" I answered, "No." Maddy tugged once more, "Well....what am I supposed to do here?" I answered her politely, "Maddy, why don't you do what everyone else in church is doing - pray?"

Maddy then whispers quietly to herself with eyes closed:

"Dear Lord, I'm extremely bored." ....and opens one eye to look at me.

Where's Santa?

My friend Jess wanted me to share this story with you all because she loves this Lewis story...



When I was 20 weeks pregnant with Sawyer, we went in for the big ultrasound. It was Dec 23rd and we decided to take Maddy with us so that she could see her potential brother/sister on the screen.



Living in Norfolk, you come across some locals with some real deep accents. Our ultrasound tech, Sue, happened to be one of them. As Sue was showing us the baby/baby's placenta on the monitor, she pointed and said (try reading this with a southern accent), "Well, there's the plah-san-ta wall right there."



Maddy immediately started to squeal while looking around at the walls, "Where's Santa?!?!?!? Where's Santa?!?!?!?!"

Costco

A couple of weeks ago I took the kids to Costco to get some normal grocery items. While we were there, Sawyer happened to have some "lettuce" hanging out of his nose. Me, in my typical mom fashion, had to "clean" him up right there in the middle of the store.

The girls were amazed at the size of Sawyer's boogers.

Later that night while at dinner, the subject came up in front of daddy.

Maddy: "Daddy! You should have seen Sawyer's boogers today at Costco!"
Daddy: "Did they come in bulk?"