Dear Lord, Cheez-Its

Today I started laughing so hard when I recalled a story from last summer.

I was in the family room and Lizzy came running down the stairs with wide eyes. She looked around the room as if she lost something. I said to her, "Lizzy, what are you looking for?" She replied, "Where is he?" I said, "Where's who?" She said, "Ya know....Jesus."

I really didn't know how to answer her. I was sort of thrown off guard so I asked, "Why are you looking for Jesus?" She said, "Maddy said that Jesus was down here." By that time, Maddy (the oldest) had come down the stairs. Maddy started shaking her head and smirking. She turned to Lizzy and said, "Oh, Lizzy, I said we had Cheez-Its downstairs."

Tooty Mommy

I was changing Sawyer's sheets thinking that it was just my son and I alone when I felt the urge to.....(you can fill in the blanks). To my surprise, my two year old son actually had commentary about the event. He had a furrow in his eyebrows, a pouty lip, and said, "Ugh. Now we have to clean my sheets again."

Simultaneously, my hubby walks by Sawyer's room very subtly and says, "I'm starting my own blog, Tooty Mommy."

Sawyer then picked up his play cell phone and said, "Hello? Police officers? My mommy not being nice to me. She tooting in my room. Take her to jail."

Kerpatrick then shouts from the other room, "Sounds like my first blog entry!"

I Hate Poo

So....I'm in the kitchen doing the dishes and I hear Lizzy and Sawyer start to squabble. The end result? Lizzy blurts out to Sawyer, "I hate you!" I immediately turn off the water and run over to Lizzy to place her in a time out. She sees my disapproving face and says, "I said, "I hate poo." "I hate poo!" I, again, reitterate the consequences of not only saying what she did, but now lying. I place her back in the time out chair and tell her to sit there quietly. As I walk off, she opens her mouth once more to say, "What is silence?"

Ahhhh, Lizzy....

Girls Rule

How did the Lewis family pass the time today?

Maddy made up a game for us to play. It was mommy vs. daddy. Pink team vs. the blue team. Maddy, the moderator, gave each one of us players a word with which we had to rhyme with another word.

Round #1

Maddy: "Okay, mommy, your word is cat."
Mommy: "Hat!"
Maddy: "Correct!"
Maddy: "Daddy, your word is......whiskers."

Pink team wins.

Snow Excited!

Lizzy's room is right above the master bedroom. This morning, we awoke to the sound of, "Bam." "Boom, boom, boom." Pause. "Boom, boom, boom, boom....." "Bam, bam, bam, bam...." We lovingingly refer to this as "a herd of elephants." Lizzy literally jumped out of bed, ran to her window, ran to the other window in her room, ran down 14 stairs, and flung open our door to say, "It's true, it's true! It did snow!" She also wondered if Santa was coming?!?!?

Being in the Hampton Roads area, snow doesn't happen very often and NEVER this much! In fact, Maddy and Lizzy have only seen snow once or twice. I am not sure that Sawyer has even seen it at all.

Lizzy looked out the back windows of the house and said, "Look! There's Llewellyn's (our dog) footprints! I can see them!" My hubby then said, "Yes. This leads us to our first rule about the snow...Do not eat yellow snow."

God Bless Her

Lizzy, our 4 year old, is our middle child. Our discovery of her existence was deemed a "pleasant surprise" and she has continued to graciously surprise us with her unique personality (and sense of style).

Every Monday, Lizzy and I sit down to do her pre-k homework. It's called Home Connection and involves me asking Lizzy a series of questions based off of that week's theme in school. Lizzy then dictates the answers to me and I write them down for her. I used to prompt Lizzy for the correct answer until I realized that Lizzy's answers to these questions were so hilariously funny I needed to share them with her teacher.

Last week -

Me: "Lizzy, how do scarves, mittens, and hats keep us warm?

Lizzy sat there pondering the question. All of the sudden, her face looked up at me like she just made some huge discovery. Her eyes got big and she proceeded to give me the following answer...

Lizzy: "I know! The clothes are superhero clothes!"

This week -

Me: "Lizzy, what does the word winter begin with?"
Lizzy: "W"
Me: "What does the letter W sound like?"
Lizzy: "d-d-d-double u."
Me: "Okay? Um...well what words begin with w?"
Lizzy: "Water."
Me: "Yes, Lizzy! That's it! Great! What else?"
Lizzy: "Watermelon.....Water from the water park?....Water from the pool!....Water from the puddle....Water from the........"

God bless her.

The Couch Boat

Last Saturday, my oldest child (Maddy, 5) and youngest child (Sawyer, 2) built this fantastic boat out of our couch, pillows, blankets, etc. The boat was even complete with a guitar being used as a paddle. The role playing continued for a while until it was time to go grocery shopping. I called the kids so they could go through the normal routine before leaving the house.....go to the bathroom, put on their socks, shoes, and jackets. Sawyer immediately followed directions and got ready to leave. In usual Maddy fashion, she had to be called repeatedly to come get ready. When I finally got to the point of frustration, she whimsically showed up at the front door. In my stern tone, I began to lecture her on how the rest of the family was ready to go and we were waiting on her blah, blah, blah. I finally asked, "Maddy, what have you been doing?" To my amusement, she confidently answered, "I had to put my anchor down."

I looked at my hubby and we both smirked. How can you argue with that answer?

Finally a Blogger!

For the last 15 years as an Aerobics Instructor, I have always started off my classes with a funny story. The stories used to be about me in a self-depricating light. Since becoming a mom, my stories revolve around my children.

So many people have told me that I needed to write my crazy antics down and I finally decided that tonight was the night!

2010 - The blog begins.....