Hair Socks

This morning KP was trying to help Sawyer get ready for school. When KP pulled out Sawyer's socks, there was a gigantic hair that somehow got balled up with them. Sawyer immediately said, "That's your hair, daddy!" Of course, this hair was about 500 times the length of KP's hair (totally mine). KP then said, "Nah uh. That's not my hair! Sawyer, that hair is so long I could sew you a new sock with it!"

Eating Us out of House and Home

After Sawyer finished TWO tacos at dinner and KP had to give him one of his so Sawyer could have a THIRD, KP said, "Well, maybe things are shifting...instead of gaining weight from eating the kids' leftovers, we'll lose weight from giving them all of our food."

Watch Out!

Here is the setup: Maddy is at the kitchen island with her back to me and the dishwasher. KP is on the other side of the island facing the dishwasher and opposite from Maddy, but they are face to face. Maddy is looking up something on the iPad, so, she is pretty engrossed. I walk over to the sink and open the dishwasher while saying, "Maddy, watch out behind you!" (I didn't want her to trip!) Maddy then takes a second, doesn't turn her attention away from the iPad, pinches her nose and says, "Okay...I'm ready." KP starts to laugh and then comments on how you know it's bad when you tell your daughter to "watch out" and she thinks you are going to rip one!

No Way, Jose!

I guess we are officially Texans! We got the van registered yesterday, received Texas plates, purchased a toll tag, and got my Texas driver's license today. It was a HILARIOUS event with my hubby at the Office of Public Safety. There was this man who could NOT pass his vision test eventhough the employee was kind of coaching him. The man kept looking in the prompter and reading it incorrectly. The employee would say, "Come on, you only have to get so many right." Finally, the employee took the man over to another machine to see if he could read that one better. When he did that, Kerpatrick leaned over to me and said, "Ya know this man is parked in the same lot we are..." After many minutes of this going on, the man started reading letters allowed. The employee then said, "Come on, Jose, you are killing me!" because there were no letters in the lines. There were only numbers!!!! Kerpatrick then leaned over to me and said, "That dude just needs to say, "NO way, Jose!" They did end up giving him his license! The female employee said to the male employee, "Did he finally get it?" The male employee said, "Eh....he was close enough." Later I was eating while we were sitting there waiting and I asked Kerpatrick if I had anything in my teeth because I had my driver's photo to look forward to. Kerpatrick replied, "Why don't you ask Jose?" When we left the office, Kerpatrick and I didn't make it two blocks before we were stopped at a red light. The light was clearly red, we were sitting there, and all of a sudden, a car started to go...on RED! KP and I looked at each other and screamed, "JOSE!!!"

What's that Smell?

So....our van stinks. I mean, really stinks. We couldn't figure out what the smell was and then we discovered it yesterday. It was Sawyer's boots. He wears snowboots without socks and now his boots smell awful. He left them in the van and it stunk the whole thing up. Maddy said...and I quote...."It's like puke married poop and had a ceremony in my nose."

Invisibility

I love listening to my children talk to each other in the car. It's funny to hear their little conversations. One day the kids were talking about things that are invisible. Lizzy chimed in with this insight: "Nothing is invisible except god....and chameleons."

Fashionista

Maddy pulls her jacket out of the dryer and puts it on to go to school. The next thing I hear is, "Um????? I can't go to school like this!" I look up to see that my underwear is stuck to the velcro of her jacket!

Hendrix

The first day that we were in Texas, we woke up in the hotel and went down to the lobby to have breakfast. While we were down there, a woman appeared with a cat in a stroller. Of course, our whole family couldn't resist staring at her. The woman said in the biggest Texan accent I have ever heard, "It's a cay-t!" I said, "Yeah, we saw that it was a cat, we just never saw one being pushed around in a stroller." She said, "Well....he's an in-door cay-t and would just run away if he weren't in this here strow-ller." Maddy said, "What's your cat's name?" The lady smirked and said, "His nay-me is Hendrix...like Jimmy Hendrix, 'cause he's a rock star!!!" Welcome to Texas!!!

Redneck Vs. Ghetto Debate

Kerpatrick traveled between Dallas and Kansas City from April-July. On one of those weekends, Kerpatrick was driving the Civic and hit a deer at the Kansas/Oklahoma border. He called me with a high pitch voice to tell me what had happened. When I inquired about the damage, KP preceeded to tell me that it wasn't that bad. Furthermore, he said that he thought about finding a hood at a junk yard and replacing our damaged one. I then asked if the hood was going to be the same color. He replied, "Well, I don't know?" I then said, "Okay, that's just ghetto." He said, "Nope...that's redneck. Ghetto is when your rims are worth more than your car."