Not From Around Here

Yesterday I went through the traffic light while it was still yellow and then it turned red. It happened to be one of those camera lights.

I turned to Kerpatrick and asked, "Do you think I made it?"

Lizzy exclaimed from the backseat, "If you get caught, just say that you are new to Kansas City and didn't know."

(Back Story: The first week we were here in KC, KP got pulled over for going 42 in a 35 zone. KP told the policeman that he was new here, etc. and managed to escape without getting a ticket.)

Literally 2

Sawyer: We went on a bike ride, mommy!!!

Mommy: Oh! That's nice! Did you ride with dad in the trailer?

Sawyer: What? No! Daddy did not ride with me in the trailer! I rode by myself. Daddy rode the bike and I sat in the trailer!

Literally

Sawyer: I am hungry.

Mommy: I thought you already ate?

Sawyer: No, I did not eat dinner.

Mommy: What? I thought Leah was feeding you dinner!

Sawyer: NO! Leah did not feed me dinner! I fed myself. I went like this (demonstration) and fed myself with my own fork and my own plate!

Wal-Mart

We were at Wal-Mart the other day picking up Maddy's glasses. Maddy looked over and saw a teeny little baby. She got excited and said, "Wow! Look at that teeny little baby!!!" She then saw that it had tubes coming out if it's nose and asked, "Why does that baby have tubes coming out of it's nose? Can it not breathe?"

I explained that it was either to help the baby breathe or it was a feeding tube, but that I couldn't really see from that far away. Maddy asked, "Did I have a feeding tube?" I said, "Of course not, honey. You were a very healthy baby!"

Maddy got this look on her face like a lightbulb went off and said, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Did that lady marry her brother?" I, very confused and shocked, asked, "Huh? What?" Maddy repeated herself, "Did that lady marry her brother?" I said, "I am not sure what you mean, honey?"

Maddy said, "Well....daddy said that you can't marry a sibling, ya know, like your brother or sister, or else you'll have very unhealthy babies!"

Thanks for that one, Kerpatrick.

Airport

We just spent the last 8 days in Virginia visiting family, etc. Yesterday we flew back home. Our flight was right at dinner time, so, while we were waiting in the airport, I decided to get the kids some food to eat before we boarded the plane.

We got food from one of the kiosks, but couldn't find a place to sit in the airport. It was packed full of people. There was a seat here and a seat there, but not four seats together for the kids and myself.

I finally found a row of seats at a different gate, but near the one we were departing from. In order to get to the seats, we had to weave our way through people saying, "Excuse me" the whole time.

We had to single file it to get to the seats that were open. Maddy was first, then Lizzy, me, and Sawyer behind me. I happened to let out a silent toot. I didn't think much of it until my son put his nose right in my behind. Of course, his reaction was audible from the next terminal, "Oh my gosh!!! Mom! That is disgusting!!! Why did you do that?" (takes another sniff) "Yuck!"

Naturally, there were a handful of people that not only heard him, but saw the whole interaction. I literally wanted to cry from humiliation. Thank god, I never had to see those people again....

...until we boarded the plane.